There are times of the year, certain moments, certain places, and spaces that just seem all too familiar. For parents that have lost a child to cancer, September is more than the seasons changing, the beginning of football season, or getting settled in from back to school. It is the beginning of a long but necessary 30 days to shed some light on Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

The 4 Percent Club

I remember the day like it was yesterday. November 22, 2013… the day the doctor said to us, “Your daughter has a rare form of brain cancer and she has about 6 months to live.” I think everything went silent after that. Imagine coming face to face with your worst fear except you don’t get to wake up and find out that it was just a bad dream after all.  I remember asking about treatments and next steps and options only to realize that we were no longer talking about cures but instead the quality of life. That reality is still hard to swallow even now. The truth is, the more I studied, and researched, and googled… the more I kept seeing the same statistics over and over again. It was alarming. How could this be? Our kids are important? How is this possible? The harsh reality is that only 4% of all funds raised nationwide for cancer research and treatments are allocated for Pediatric Cancer and the other 96% goes towards Adult Cancers. Don’t get me wrong, ALL CANCER SUCKS, but 4%…… Enter GOING GOLD

The Journey Ahead

The days and months ahead were some of the hardest days of my life as a parent. I would often ignore my own pain because after all, my child was the one enduring treatments, chemo, ports, radiation and all of the ugly side effects of cancer. Yet, she continued to live, learn, laugh, and love every single day! These are the 4 L’s my husband always spoke about to our kids each day. I find myself clinging to this notion of days when it’s so difficult in the aftermath to just put both feet on the floor in the morning. It’s hard. We had a 20-month battle and in the end, we lost our child. Every day I think about Keris and the reality that she is physically not here. But, in spite of it all, in September, I Go GOLD! I GO GOLD to raise awareness for all of the children, parents, siblings, and loved ones that are in the midst of fighting cancer and I honor all of the angels that are now watching over us. September will forever stand out to me. Yes, it is painful but I also understand that it is necessary. Because ONE child is TOO many and kids can’t fight cancer alone 💛